What is modern sexiness?
What It Means to Be Sexy in the Modern World
Sexy. It’s a word that carries weight, expectation, and so many preconceived notions. For decades, the world has dictated what ‘sexy’ should look like—sculpted bodies, flawless skin, perfect symmetry. But in the modern world, being sexy is no longer about fitting into a narrow Mold. It’s about confidence, self-acceptance, and the courage to own who you are.
As a boudoir photographer in Christchurch, I see first-hand the transformation that happens when people step in front of the camera. Many arrive nervous, unsure, maybe even a little self-conscious. But something shifts as they begin to embrace the moment. When they let go of expectations, lean into their own unique beauty, and see themselves through a different lens, they realize something powerful—sexy isn’t about perfection. It’s about presence.
Redefining Sexy: Confidence Over Comparison
The modern world bombards us with images of what’s supposedly attractive. Social media filters, airbrushed magazines, and curated perfection can make it easy to feel like we don’t measure up. But true sexiness isn’t about comparison—it’s about how you feel in your own skin. Confidence, joy, and authenticity are what draw people in. A genuine laugh, a spark in your eye, the way you carry yourself—these are the things that make you magnetic. Sexy is in the way you express yourself unapologetically, whether that’s through the way you dress, the way you move, or the way you speak your truth. It’s in the little moments—when you dance like no one’s watching, when you wear something bold just because it makes you feel good, or when you embrace the quirks and traits that make you unique. True sexiness comes from self-acceptance, from stepping away from societal pressures and realizing that your worth is not defined by anyone else’s standards. It’s in the quiet power of knowing who you are and owning it fully.
Stepping Outside Your Comfort Zone
For many, embracing their own sensuality is a radical act of self-love. It can feel vulnerable, even daunting, to step outside your comfort zone and claim space in a world that often tells us to shrink. But that’s exactly why it’s so powerful. Whether it’s booking a boudoir shoot, wearing that outfit you’ve been too shy to try, dancing freely without worrying about how you look, taking up a new hobby that makes you feel confident, practicing positive affirmations, or simply speaking to yourself with kindness instead of criticism, each step you take toward self-acceptance is a step toward feeling sexy on your own terms.
The Power of Movement: Dance and Burlesque as a Path to Confidence
Movement is one of the most powerful ways to connect with your body and embrace your sensuality. Dance, in particular, has the ability to unlock confidence, self-expression, and empowerment. Taking a dance class—whether it’s salsa, contemporary, or burlesque—can be an incredible way to step out of your comfort zone and into your power. Burlesque is about celebrating femininity in all its forms, embracing body positivity, and feeling sexy in a way that is playful, bold, and unapologetic. It encourages you to take up space, command attention, and own every part of who you are.
Moving your body freely without fear of judgment allows you to reconnect with yourself, appreciate what your body can do, and exude confidence in a way that extends beyond the dance floor. Whether you’re swaying to music in your living room or joining a class with others, movement is an act of self-love and an expression of your unique, radiant energy.
Ways to Feel Sexy in the Modern World
Feeling sexy isn’t about conforming to societal standards—it’s about finding what makes you feel empowered and confident. Here are some ways to embrace your own version of sexy in today’s world:
Wear something that makes you feel amazing – Whether it’s a bold red lipstick, a perfectly tailored suit, or cozy loungewear that hugs you just right, clothing can be a powerful confidence booster.
Move your body in a way that feels good – Dance, yoga, strength training, or simply stretching can help you connect with yourself and feel more in tune with your body.
Practice self-care rituals – A warm bath, a skincare routine, or even treating yourself to a luxurious fragrance can make you feel pampered and sensual.
Embrace your sensuality in everyday moments – Enjoying a meal, listening to music that moves you, or savouring the feeling of soft fabrics against your skin can enhance your sense of pleasure.
Speak kindly to yourself – Confidence starts with self-talk. Replace self-criticism with affirmations and gratitude for your body and who you are.
Try something new – Stepping out of your routine, whether it’s a dance class, a new hairstyle, or an adventurous experience, can bring out a fresh, exciting side of you.
Set boundaries and own your space – Knowing what you want and what makes you feel good is sexy. Own your desires and don’t be afraid to take up space.
Sexy Looks Different for Everyone
One of the most beautiful things about boudoir photography is that it highlights the diversity of beauty. There is no single way to be sexy—there’s only your way. Whether you feel most empowered in delicate lace, a bold power suit, an oversized sweater, or nothing at all, what matters is how you feel. Sexy isn’t confined to a size, an age, or a specific look—it’s an expression of who you are at your most authentic. It’s in the way you carry yourself, in the unapologetic way you take up space, in the quiet confidence that shines through when you embrace your unique self. And when you do that, you radiate confidence in a way that no filter or trend ever could.
You Deserve to See Yourself As Sexy
If no one has told you this today: you are worthy of feeling beautiful, powerful, and sexy exactly as you are. You don’t need permission, and you don’t need to change. The journey to self-love and body positivity isn’t always easy, but it’s one of the most rewarding things you can do for yourself.
So go ahead—step outside your comfort zone. Embrace yourself fully. Because in the modern world, being sexy is simply about being you.
